Goldenrod Death

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=85 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Caintmakit! Racing</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>     </B></FONT><B>|     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Caintmakit! 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She has had a hard life and</div> <div> it was really starting to show. She wouln't shift anymore, most of the</div> <div> windows were broken and all of the headlight and tailight lenses were</div> <div> broken. It was time to take her off of insurance and I had to make sure</div> <div> that she dies a fitting death. We had to see her out in grand style.</div> <bR> <div> So, after jumping her two times over a snowpile in the back yard, I parked</div> <div> her and let he get good and warm. Once she was warmed up, I found a brick</div> <div> and dropped it on the accelerator and the engine promptly roared to 7500</div> <div> RPM (the red line starts at 6,000!). After a few seconds it dropped to</div> <div> 7000 then 6000 where it stayed for the duration of its running life. The</div> <div> accelerator was still floored, but she just didn't have enough power to</div> <div> stay running at that high of a RPM. After about 1 minute steam started</div> <div> coming from the head. Around 2 minutes the noise change tone when I think</div> <div> the head gasket blew or something. A 2.5 minutes there was a definate</div> <div> broken metal sound from the engine as some piece of metal was clunking</div> <div> around inside not attached to where it is supposed to be attached to.</div> <div> Finally at just a few seconds under the 3 minute mark the Honda sputtered,</div> <div> kicked a few times, and abruptly stopped spinning. All sorts of smoke and</div> <div> steam was coming from the open engine compartment. It was absolutely</div> <div> hilarious when I checked the oil and the dipstick was smoking in the air.</div> <div> It was rather low on the dipstick, I guess that I should have checked that</div> <div> before deciding to kill it.</div> <bR> <div> Now that she was dead, the canibalism started. The hood was the first</div> <div> thing to go. It broke right off. The air cleaner cover made a very nice</div> <div> Frisbee, and makes one hell of a crash as it is thrown through the door</div> <div> windows. The doors, contrary to Ryan's oppinion, will not break like a</div> <div> paper clip when it is bent back and forth many times, so the bolt cutters</div> <div> were used to help speed along the process. Both doors were then thrown</div> <div> through the windshield. The rest of the headlight and taillights were</div> <div> removed with the bolt cutters. I shed a tear when I removed the GONPSTL</div> <div> licence plate from Goldenrod.</div> <bR> <div> I am going to call the junkyard today and tell them that I can't seem to</div> <div> find what is wrong with my 1984 Honda, and I am tired of putting money</div> <div> into it. Hopefully the will come with a wrecker to pick it up. If not, I</div> <div> will take it down to the K-mart parking lot and pit a sign that says "RAN</div> <div> WELL" on it and have Davidek try to sell another car.</div> <bR> <div> Even though I didn't think so at the time, it did help my hangover. You</div> <div> might say it was not a good idea to do this with the drunk dummies, but I</div> <div> didn't have a better one!</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="1e740f00.jpg" border=0 width="320" height="240" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Where'd most of the glass go?  And the taillights!  And WTF is an NDB??</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1e840f00.jpg" border=0 width="320" height="240" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Duct Tape.  Klas-eeeeeee.  Note lack of doors.</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1e940f00.jpg" border=0 width="320" height="240" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Being hauled away to a fabled Dort Highway Junkyard.</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1ea40f00.jpg" border=0 width="320" height="240" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Sniff, sniff. :(</div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I'm crying on the inside.</B></I></div> </td> </tr></table></body>